Pre-recital do’s and don’ts
I’ve been preparing students for recitals for over 10 years. During that time, I’ve noticed that even the most frightened player can overcome their fears and improve their ability to perform well. Besides good practice habits, these little tricks can go a long way to helping yourself, or your little one, feel prepared for a concert.
1) Do encourage your student/yourself to do mock recitals. Go to the piano, cold, and play pieces in recital order and practice doing the seated bow in-between selections and the standing bow at the end. The act of formalizing the home performance is a great approximation to the real thing. Most of us will be surprised at how different it feels to simply act as though it is the real thing- particularly if there is an audience of any kind (friend, relative, stuffy, lego people…)
2) Do discuss feelings about performing. It is completely natural to feel nervous about performing - it is not something we do regularly. Most of us have mixed feelings about being the centre of attention. On one hand, it is exciting to be the star, and on the other, it is terrifying to have all eyes on you. Fears about "messing up" must be aired out, not pushed away or dismissed. Explain that feeling nervous is just another feeling, and it will pass. You can still play the piano when you are having feelings.
3) Do tell your child/yourself how proud you are of all the work they have already done. Tell them how it makes you feel when they play songs for you, and how enjoyable it will be for all of you to share in their progress at the recital. Tell them that no matter what, they have already done amazing work. The recital is just a natural progression, and another opportunity to enjoy music together. If you feel like your child hasn't done enough work, check if your expectations are reasonable, then discuss a plan with them to make sure they feel they will be ready in time (Your teacher will be happy to be part of this discussion!)
4) Do reassure your child/yourself that it is okay to make mistakes- even in a performance! We all make them, and we are still worthy and worthwhile. Mistakes are valuable and necessary opportunities for growth and learning. Our work at learning the piano is worth doing, and it is worth sharing - no matter how many years we have been at it. Try to refrain from comparing yourself/your child to others - when we do this we always come up short! Each individual accomplishes what they can, in the time they have. No matter how things go, there is always something to learn and something to enjoy.
5) Don't use shame or the fear of future shame to motivate. It can be tempting to suggest that kids practice (or ourselves...) so they won't embarrass themselves or you. However, this kind of motivation usually backfires because it only fuels the fear they already have. Don't use it on yourself either! Build them/yourself up instead - it works better in the long run. For me, practicing is always easiest when I remember how much I love to play the piano - focus on enjoyment and music will always be part of their/your lives.